Symptoms & Reactions

“You’re Stable Now”

Dear Diary,

I’m happy to report that despite the Lupus, I’m able to accept and manage things much better these days.  As one of my doctors told me the other day, “You’re stable now. ” It took a while to get here after my trip back East.

With this new stability comes a sense of calm. I’m getting used to my new normal—using a wheelchair when needed; using a stool to sit on when I’m cooking in the kitchen; and using my laptop in bed when I can’t sit at the desk.

With the sense of calm, I decided it might be a good time to start looking for some creative outlet this month. I’ve always heard that expressing one’s creativity with art often helps the healing process, especially for those suffering chronic illnesses.

In the past, I’ve tried oil painting; but the fumes always triggered a pleuritic pain response. So, I discontinued that. Then, I decided to get back into photography. I had been published in a couple of major newspapers back East and I also won a photography contest sponsored by the Friends of Red Rock Canyon National Conservation Area. I had to discontinue that once the pain prevented me from climbing and walking to the areas where I could get the best “money shots,” as they call them. No self-respecting photographer takes photos from the car!

So, my choice of creative outlet this time is to take a watercolor painting class. There’s one offered at our neighborhood community center once a week. Just my speed. I dabbled in watercolor as a teenager. My Mom, God bless her, still has some of my paintings adorning her walls.

I’m hoping that I can sit through a three-hour class without too many repercussions. I anticipate that I’ll be getting up to fill cups with water or wash brushes out at the end of class. That shouldn’t be a problem if I position myself close to the sink.

Who knows what will happen. Either way, all I can do is try to do something that brings me joy.




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