Emotions of Lupus

Surprised to Have a Good Day

Dear Diary,

I’m always surprised when I have a good day. Today was no different. I woke up with my usual stiffness in my bones and tightness in my chest, but unlike last Saturday, I could breathe. Oh joy! And, this Saturday morning was perfect for a few deep breaths of crisp mountain air.

Saturdays are so important to me because it’s the only full day I have to spend with my Hubby during the week. Not having the preoccupation of extra pain and asthma freed me to reciprocate the love my husband shows me, despite my sometimes grumpy demeanor. So, thankfully, I had enough energy to make him his favorite breakfast—pancakes (gluten-free, of course) applewood-smoked bacon, and two eggs, over easy.

I made breakfast while doing my kitchen dance, as I call it. It is a sequence of highly orchestrated moves designed to minimize the numbness and pins and needles in my legs and feet when I stand for more than 10 minutes. These days, making this breakfast is such a huge accomplishment.

I could look at it as the glass half empty because I used to be super woman who mastered the art of multi-tasking long ago. But, I’ve learned that seeing the glass half full is much more empowering and hope generating, and definitely lends itself to having a good day. It gives me a glimpse of what could be—if somehow, some way, this disease leaves my body.



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