Emotions of Lupus

Lupus Demands Attention

No matter how important a day is to you or much you think things are under control with this disease, Lupus finds a way to surprise and distract you. It demands attention, sometimes out of the blue. Like today, during the first day of my son’s visit from the East coast….  **



One word to describe my Lupus body today:  Weak

Which habits and rituals did I practice to soothe my Lupus body?

  • Slept Well
  • Breathed Fresh Air
  • Ate a Clean Diet
  • Stayed hydrated

More details about my physical symptoms:
Despite sleeping well last night, my muscles are extremely weak and in knots—just about everywhere. My back, my neck, my shoulder, my hips. My hands and fingers hurt, too. This is strange even for me. The technical term for this is myositis—inflammation of the muscles. With each movement, the weakness worsened to the point where my legs would give way or I began dropping things, like the slippery raw chicken I was trying to carry to the oven for dinner. It nearly slipped off the broiler and went flying across the room because it became too heavy to hold. *Sigh…* Thankfully, my son, visiting from the East coast, was there in the nick of time to prevent a disaster.



One word to describe my Lupus mind today: Distracted

Which habits and rituals did I practice to strengthen my Lupus mind?

  • Managed stress response
  • Managed expectations
  • Managed time and energy

More details and thoughts about how I’m feeling emotionally today:
Some days, I can make it through without thinking about Lupus all the time. Not today. Today, my body reminded me of this disease from the moment I woke up. Lupus was screaming loud and clear. I tried not to scream back because it makes everything worse. Imagine how it is when you get angry—your muscles tense up, your heart rate increases, and the flood of adrenaline just sends you out of your peaceful place. Well, the consequences of anger when you have Lupus could very well send you into an all out flare. So, instead of going toe-to-toe with Lupus, I had to treat it like a toddler having a temper tantrum. I told it to sit down in the corner and be quiet! Like a toddler, it didn’t listen….



One word to describe my spirit today: Listening

Which habits and rituals did I practice to nurture my Lupus spirit?

  • Enjoyed sacred space
  • Loved myself
  • Meditated, prayed, visualized

Thoughts about my spiritual connection and spiritual lessons learned today:
As Lupus did its thing to my muscles today, I couldn’t help but wonder if there was something I did to aggravate it. Maybe my diet or stress levels in the days prior could be to blame. So, I spent a good part of the day getting quiet with myself to listen to and connect with Lupus. To hear it out. To find out what I could do to calm it down. As I visualized and meditated on those thoughts, I was blessed with a sweet nap. I’m still not sure why my muscles are behaving so badly, but I think Lupus knows that I’m listening.



Today my meals were:

  • Breakfast: Paleo banana muffin, Gala apple
  • Lunch: Chicken breast, Spanish rice, beans
  • Dinner: Homemade chicken soup
  • Snacks: None



At least one thing that I’m grateful for today:

  • A quiet and peaceful home
  • Visiting son

**(This post is based on the format of the Lupus Diary that I developed for keeping track of how Lupus affects my body, mind, and spirit, I check-in here once a week to let you know about the more interesting days of my Lupus journey. To learn more about the Lupus Diary, how I developed it, and why I use it, click here.)

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