It’s common knowledge by now how exhausting Lupus can be. If it’s not your body’s own immune system over-working itself to attack healthy cells, it’s your own mind trying to figure out why you’re having strange symptoms…. **
One word to describe my Lupus body today: Weak
Which habits and rituals did I practice to soothe my Lupus body?
- Breathed fresh air
- Stayed hydrated
- Protected delicate skin
More details about my physical symptoms:
My body feels so strange today that I’m not sure how to describe it. A little light-headed, a little dizzy, and very tired, or empty or something. But, it comes and goes. Much of living with Lupus involves trying to decipher what your body is trying to tell you. Unfortunately, we get a lot of practice with some symptoms—fevers, joint pain, rashes, and on and on. Sometimes, the symptoms are recognizable and predictable, but others, like today, are kind of unfamiliar and out of the blue and you just have no clue why they happen. Those are the kind of strange symptoms that scare me.
One word to describe my Lupus mind today: Nervous
Which habits and rituals did I practice to strengthen my Lupus mind?
- Managed stress response
- Asked for and accepted help
More details and thoughts about how I’m feeling emotionally today:
With today’s strange symptoms came a lot of fear and anxiety, which resulted in distorting my reality in a big way. I imagined the worse case scenarios, like maybe I was having a stroke because of the a-fib episode (which was over two months ago). Not likely. Or maybe I was reacting poorly to the new blood thinning medication, Pradaxa. Possible, but I was fine for two weeks, so why would I be having symptoms now? I’ve learned from working with my psychotherapist that I have to quickly nip the fearful thinking in the bud. Otherwise, I’ll just spiral down into a pretty dark place and have a full on panic attack. So, Hubby took my blood pressure to see if it was too low, which would explain the dizziness. It was fine, but my heart rate was 117 bpm—a bit too high and, for me, an indication of anxiety’s physical effects. I finally calmed down after dinner and the dizziness went away. Maybe it was as simple as not eating enough during the day. I believe my body is still healing after the latest health crisis, and I have to eat. Today, for some reason, I wasn’t eating as much as I should, and my body let me know it!
One word to describe my spirit today: Listening
Which habits and rituals did I practice to nurture my Lupus spirit?
- Enjoyed sacred space
- Meditated, prayed, visualized
- Embraced uncertainty
Thoughts about my spiritual connection and spiritual lessons learned today:
After dinner tonight, I meditated without the aid of a guided recording. I decided I just wanted to listen to my body. Sometimes, I get so busy trying to manage my body that I don’t actually listen to it and feel it communicate with me. The strange thing is that I used to be so in tune with my body before I got really sick. Centering myself was easy and effortless. I could access that center anywhere at anytime. There was no pain or fear getting in the way. Now, I have to work my way around those physical and emotional issues to get to the core of my spirit. My spirit knows what’s going on. I need to do better to listen and learn what to do to get back to an easy place with it.
Today my meals were:
- Breakfast: Gluten-free oatmeal, half of a Gala apple, small sausage patty
- Lunch: Sliced homemade roasted turkey, cooked kale, rice
- Dinner: Scrambled eggs, green salad with avocado, hash brown potatoes
- Snacks: Pumpkin seeds
- Water: 48 ounces
At least one thing that I’m grateful for today:
- A resilient spirit
- Ability to meditate
**(This post is based on the format of the Lupus Diary that I developed for keeping track of how Lupus affects my body, mind, and spirit, I check-in here once a week to let you know about the more interesting days of my Lupus journey. To learn more about the Lupus Diary, how I developed it, and why I use it, click here.)